When I was a college kid (Part 2)

My direct family members are extremely supportive of my ACCA pursuit but I find that it is not always true with some of my friends and relatives, they would be delighted if friends or relatives’ son turned out to be a failure. Perhaps, the burden of having successful friends or relatives takes away the limelight of their own achievements. Sad but true.

Envy is the work of the devil

I have friends and relatives who are quick to show resentment on their luckier and more successful friends or relatives and usually this happened unconsciously. I don’t blame them and neither should you. Perhaps envy has become some sort of a habit to them.

Forgive them for they exist to test our determination. Their hurtful words, gossips and discouragement will fade and evaporate once they know you stand even stronger and are unmoved.
When I was small, I too felt envy when I see other kids throwing a birthday party and invited me but I never get a chance to throw a birthday party for myself and invite them.

My family was poor and my Dad never flew on a plane before until after he retired at 55 years old. The first time he flew was with me to KL in 1991 to visit my brother who was still studying in UPM, Serdang. We stayed at YMCA, Brickfields and we would take the taxi to Petaling Street. At the time, the pedlars were all Cantonese speaking Chinese guys. Bargaining is the norm in Petaling Street then as it still is now. Only difference is that if they agreed to your price but you didn’t buy, then they will scold you $#!?<%(Cantonese version). Now, it is @≠©-0(Bangladesh version).

Now back to my college days…

Taking ACCA papers is just like riding a motorbike at night without any headlight or streetlights on. You just don’t know when there is a turning around the corner or there is a bump in front and you need to slow down. Sometimes, you banged into something and you still don’t know what hit you. But you just climbed up your bike and continue to ride again. Count yourself lucky if you managed to avoid all the pit falls and pass ACCA on each first attempt.

I only understood all this after I started lecturing. Most of the times, we are putting students at risk when we spot topics. But still, we continue doing so, as no one can study everything in a couple of months and sit for the exam. That is why the stress level is very high. Too short a time and too much of the syllabus. Each Professional level paper is actually taken from a single subject at the Masters level which normally takes about 9 months to complete. And here we are, squeezing that paper into 4½months to be exact.

Not forgetting some students take ACCA part time while working. Time and energy are such rare scarcity for them. Like I mentioned earlier, full timer’s distraction is usually love relationship but part timer’s distraction is usually work related or even that annoying superior that has been breathing down your neck.

Most students didn’t know that I was also in that kind of dilemma at one time. Before I attended TARC, I have been working for almost 4 years, trying to save enough to continue my studies. I tried attending evening classes after work and failed as I was dozing off most of the time. In the end, I decided to quit my job in Singapore and enrol to TARC. It was an easy decision because my wife also intends to further her studies in KL back then.

As far as I know, my students who quit their job to take up full time study all made it through ACCA. Of course, make sure there is sufficient savings before you quit your job and don’t take longer than 2 years or else your resume won’t be impressive. If you are really contemplating to quit your job and study full time, my advice would be to do that in the Professional papers (P1 to P7) rather than the Foundation papers.

As for me, I started from F1 all over again (during my time it was called Paper 1). I lost the fire when I reach the Professional level, I could have just given up then and I really almost wanted to give up. My reason was because my fund runs out in the final year. Your motivation would be negative when your wallet is empty.

During those days, I dug out all the loose change that I used to keep and buy Gardenia bread. One loaf can last for 3 meals per day. Having fully excavated all those loose change, finally, I have to starve for three days surviving only with boiled water. When I saw my housemates cooking instant noodles, I could hear my stomach rumbling but I am just too shy to ask.

My ego took a huge blow when my wife suddenly checked my wallet and found it to be empty. Then, she slipped in a hundred ringgit note there. She was upset that I didn’t tell her my financial problem. It was the most embarrassing moment in my life accepting money from my wife and all that pride that you have been holding on to all this while came crushing down. That same moment was also the defining moment in my life that the next time, I will be the one giving to her. So far, I have kept that promise which I made to myself.

In 2007, she resigned from the only one company that she has worked for since graduation, after working there for more than 7 years. Now, she is a full time housewife though she yearns once in a while to work again. I have not told her the promise I made unless of course if she reads my blog, which I think she will.

Well, the hundred ringgit means a lot to me and I can never forget that. I have gone down so low in my life that I have to accept money from my girlfriend. Any girl would have just dumped me and moved on but she stayed. At the same time, there are other guys in the university and I shall leave that for another story.

I was touched and still am for what she did then, stayed on for a poor guy like me.

Before long, the hundred ringgit was used up. Fortunately, my father and brother chip in to cushion me through the rest of the year. Looking back, I understood why I have to go through that. I failed to plan properly and did not incorporate additional expenses such as exam fees, transport costs, furniture, books, etc.

If you are considering quitting your job and study full time, please plan it properly and also have a back-up plan in case it didn’t work out. Worse come to worse, go back to work again.

Let ACCA strengthen family ties

I also find that family members play very important role not just financially but also spiritually. My source of motivation during my college days are my family members. They are like powerful life forces that keep you charged when you face life challenges. When you are at your lowest, they will be there unconditionally for you. When you need help, who else would be offering help willingly besides your family members.

I find that nowadays, technology has distant us from our family members instead of bringing us closer like when telephone was first invented. This is really such a paradox! Many suicides could have being prevented if only someone is there for the troubled. Don’t suffer in silence, confide in someone you can trust.

Remember that your family members want what is best for you. When I was in college, most of my classmates are not close with their family members. Usually, I only heard one side of the story that their parents only doted on their younger siblings and not them. Maybe it could be true but perhaps parents may think that elder siblings are more independent and matured and doesn’t need their help and attention. So you don’t see much of their concern because you never needed it before.

But now, as you embark on this journey it is different and you would be tested to your most fragile state. ACCA demands a lot from us. It seems there is no mercy shown. If a student didn’t make the mark, markers won’t hesitate to fail the student. I find that the earlier you accept this fact the better you become at passing the papers.

You need your family members to be your pillar of strength, you just have to ask and they will listen. You just have to tell them you need someone to listen to your feelings, not judge you and not to give you any suggestion or opinion. And they will listen.

Upon graduation, it will be meaningless if you have to go on stage to receive your scroll and there is no one, no family members to witness your glorious moment. Share your joy and tears with them. Then only this ACCA journey becomes more meaningful.