When I was a college kid (Part 1)

There I was being a college kid again and those memories; sweet, sour and bitter all came flashing back to me as if it only happened yesterday. So as I looked back, I wasn’t outstanding in my studies, neither was I very active in extra-curricular activities in college. I was just the ordinary guy who attends lectures, tutorials and occasionally skip a dozen or so of such lectures.

So, perhaps you too might share the same experience and notoriety as me. Hey! Can’t blame us, we are young only once. I bet you that your parents won’t even tell you the mischief they did during their college days. I just want to be honest with my students and let them know that whatever that is going on in their mind and heart is normal and everyone has gone through the same experience. We all have lived through that and we are doing fine now.

Back then even before enrolling for college, I already knew my girlfriend who is now my wife. To this date, we have known each other for 18 years from the first day we met in Singapore. She studied in UKM, Bangi while I enrolled to TAR College, Setapak. You might ask how come I didn’t apply to UKM. Anyway, I got rejected by UKM because I only sat for 4 papers in STPM. Those days, the university will calculate our credit points for admission and most people sat for 5 papers while I sat for only 4 papers. But, like what Steve Jobs said about connecting the dots… now I understood better why I enrolled to TARC instead. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have met those wonderful TARC (now TARUC) students that I lectured last semester.

Skipping lectures doesn’t seem like what any lecturer would tell their students to do, not least admit that they have done just that. However, there is a point I would like to raise here that having full attendance doesn’t mean the student deserves a pass.

So what makes a pass or a fail?

To be downright honest, lecturers only contribute 30 to 40% of the passes by spotting on the right topics or devising a better method to understand and tackle the questions while the remaining 60 to 70% has to come from the student’s own effort.

Conjuring is the art of distraction
Like most other full time students in TARC, I stay in a ‘student populated’ rented house and there is one thing good about that, we do not own a TV set. That at least got rid of one major distraction because during our time TV is the only form of entertainment besides movies. Come to think of it, the last time I watched TV was during the badminton match between Datuk Lee Chong Wei and Lin Dan. That was like ages ago.

Now, I find students barely watched TV which has long been replaced by Facebook or other internet addiction, perhaps games or PPS or whatever. Times changed but our attitude or rather addiction doesn’t. Nowadays, students are easily distracted by so many stuffs.

During my college days, my only distraction would be the weekends that I would ride my bike to meet my girlfriend in Bangi. It might be very ‘sensitive’ to call your girlfriend a ‘distraction’ but face it, anything that takes time away from your studies distracts you. It gets worse after you got back from the date and you just can’t stop thinking; not so much about your books but her. So what did I do? Sometimes I wish that our mind has a remote control that we can switch channel with just a press of the button.

My roommate was very envious initially as he was single. It wasn’t until he had found himself a girlfriend that he realised he was blessed to be single. His was a sad story. He stopped ACCA after he broke off with his girlfriend. The post-break up was really like hell not just for him but for all our housemates. He was like trying to pick up a fight with everyone and it was like the world owes him something. In the end, everyone avoided him and finally, he moved out.

Every now and then, I regretted for not being an understanding friend when he was having problems. He picked up smoking, cursing and later became anti-social. At that time, I couldn’t understand his behaviour and I don’t think he also understand why he behaved that way. To him, his girlfriend is everything for him, his life, his future, his everything. And imagine losing all that when the girl wanted to break off with him, it must have hurt a lot!

I can see that he loves her very much but every time when they go out happily, they always ended up quarrelling back home. All of us get very worried that either one of them might do something stupid.

For me, every couple would quarrel every now and then, and the best thing to do when both parties are very agitated is to just keep quiet. We say the worst things when we are angry and usually words that we didn’t really meant, words that hurt people, words that we would regret saying later. Once those words come out, we can’t take them back.

Whatever it is, step away from the argument and tell the other party that you need some time to calm down. Hey! If anyone tells you that he/she needs time to calm down, you would give him/her space even though you are angry too, right. In fact, that would be the best thing to do in any heated argument. Give each other space and time to think it through.

My roommate was not fortunate as college life didn’t end well for him. I know that many guys don’t recover after break-up and worst, they stopped their studies after the break-up especially if the girl is also taking the same course. Take my advice, if you really want to have a girlfriend, find one from other courses otherwise someone’s ego is going to take a beating when that someone gets stuck in some papers while the other has already completed ACCA.

Family matters

Up to now, there is only one exception that I know of. There is this one couple where his girlfriend graduates first and he insisted on taking a photograph with me during his girlfriend’s graduation and he promised me that the next graduation will be his. True enough, he graduated the next sitting and this time his girlfriend took the picture for us. Later on, he recommended his brother to the class too. Wow! It is really a family ACCA event for them.

To any ACCA student, the goal is to complete all the ACCA papers. It sounds easy but along the way, we faced many challenges: physically, mentally and for some even financially. People closest to us be it our girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, parents and for some even their kids need to understand that ACCA matters a lot to us.

It is a challenge that we have committed ourselves when we choose to study ACCA. Nobody forced us. To some of our friends and relatives; they probably are pouring cold water on us, one pail after another. Some are very direct they tell it straight to your face while others may say it behind your back.

When I told my colleague that I am going for ACCA, she told me straight in my face that I can’t pass ACCA. She is an engineer and her friend, a smarter engineer than her took ACCA and couldn’t pass. I told her confidently, “I will complete ACCA.” She apologised to me the next day. She meant no harm, just that she is concerned I couldn’t complete my studies. I said, “It is okay, I know.”

From then on, I have to live up to my words. My family and my wife are very supportive to me and I count myself very lucky indeed. Throughout my studies, they didn’t give me any problems. Their emotional support is already enough. I always tell myself that I do not want to disappoint them. I will make them proud once I earned my ACCA. That day will come.

It came true for me and it will happen for you too.