Confiding in someone allows us to
pour out our feelings. Frustration, anger, sadness and all the negative
emotions have to manifest first before calmness can ever appear. Once we have
accepted the result then only can we correct our mistakes. We need a clear mind
to think unbiasly.
ACCA’s toughest test is not the
exam questions but the test of accepting failure sometimes and picking up yourself
again in the shortest possible time and telling yourself you are okay and then,
continue your journey again. This time choose a different path.
A quote from Albert Einstein:
‘Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results’.
Sometimes, students thought I
would be annoyed if they choose another lecturer and they avoided me. I know
most lecturers have small heart but not me. If I can’t help you to pass, I will
definitely encourage you to choose another lecturer. Every lecturer has his or
her own strength and perhaps that strength is the weakness that you are trying
to overcome. Student always tell me that my strength is in consolidation and
exam technique.
When you wanted to know more
about a particular topic, you won’t buy books written by only one author. If
fact your shelf would be filled with books from many different authors. So, why
limit yourself to only one particular lecturer. Different lecturers would give
you different insights. What matters most is that you PASS.
You need all the help you can get
and rest assured that I will give you my full support. Just that at times I am
constrained by the system. At one hand I wanted to offer help for free and at
the same time I also have paying students. Still I need to earn a living and I
hope that one day I could offer my lectures for free but then again this would
affect the livelihood of other lecturers and colleges. You just can’t please
everybody.
I gave it very deep thought and I
need to differentiate paying from non-paying students and that is why I have
created two groups in Facebook i.e. F7Dec2013 and P2Dec2013 groups. I will post
my slides and answer any questions posted where the public can view. However, I
may have to encrypt some video files uploaded to be viewed exclusively only by
paying students.
Some students told me that I have
focussed too much on calculation and I have accepted my mistake and that is why
I have changed my style to focus on explaining the accounting standards and
unfortunately this has taken up the time to do more past year questions.
However, I found that most students like it better when the standards are
explained. In fact, most of the explanation could be found in study texts. You
just can’t have the best of everything. There is always a trade-off.
This time round I have added
Powerpoint slides in my lecture and gave the slides hand-out to students before
the class to reduce note taking. I have centred my lecture on explaining the
reasoning behind the accounting standards rather than focusing purely on doing
questions in class. Where possible I would squeeze in a question or two. I was
hoping to do more videos on past year questions but it is really taking a long
time and effort. Sometimes, I wonder if students have time to view all the
videos.
Result dayIt was result day yesterday and my mood is very difficult to explain. It is complicated. I was on my smartphone almost the entire day. When I hear passes, I share their joy and when I hear failure, I share their sadness.
I remembered back to the time I
failed my exam. During my time, I have to retake all 3 papers including the
ones I already pass. It was very disappointing when you can’t get to keep the
paper that you pass. That is why most students gave up ACCA in the end. I have
a friend who sat for 3 sittings and pass a different paper each sitting but
ended up with not a single pass. He was born at the wrong generation; he would already
be an ACCA if he sat for the papers now.
Failing exam hurts very much that
nothing can heal that feeling. The worst part is when your friends ask you for
your result. Sometimes, you just wish they won’t ask as you don’t even want to
talk about it, not least being reminded about it. That is why I won’t ask my
students and if there is good news, they will definitely tell me.
Every lecturer will feel guilty
when their students didn’t do well. We just wish that there is something we can
do to help. Every bad news is like a needle piercing through my heart, even
when the student passes at the subsequent sitting the scar is always there. I
always hope that the pass could come at the first attempt.
When I receive the bad news on my
result, I felt that I just wanted to be alone and go away to another universe if
possible, far away from any living soul. Let me live there forever, not having
to face any single person any longer. It took me a while to recover and realise
that leaving this world would do me no good. Some more it is impossible. Then,
the most I could do is to lock myself up in my room and never ever to come out.
I realised that we all have felt
that kind of feeling before, at some point in our life. I just couldn’t hold
myself together because ACCA means a lot to me, it is my life, my pride and it
is what I live for. It is a passport for poor people like me to have a better
life. I bet my life for this, I quit my job, I used up my savings and I am
devastated. Tears won’t do me any good because it can’t change my result. I was
so close and yet so far. It was the final 3 papers.
The days passed and my mood didn’t
get any better. It was difficult to get over that very strong emotion that I am
a loser, I am good at nothing. I wanted to erase all this from my memory and it
was very torturing. I woke up each day facing the same emotion day after day.
The emotion gets worse each day.
Finally, I looked into the mirror.
I was in such an agony situation. What have become of me?
Then, the defining moment came, I
feel that emotion deep in my heart, I feel the pain, so unbearable, how much it
hurts me, how much suffering I have endured and I tell myself, yes I told
myself, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! This is the LAST TIME I am going to have this
feeling. I ACCEPT the result but this is not the end. I still BELIEVE I am BETTER
and VERY MUCH BETTER than what they mark me as. I am going to show them,
I AM ACCA material.”
I pulled myself together. I have
a choice and I choose to fight rather than give up. This is only a temporary setback
and I will come back again. And I will come back stronger. I ask myself what I
did wrong. I looked back to my books and I can’t see my mistakes. I searched
everywhere but I couldn’t find it. I didn’t sit for exam the next sitting.
I continue my lecturing and put
aside my ACCA dream. I went on to fulfil my students’ dreams. I was lecturing
LCCI Business Statistics. It was almost a year I kept this within my heart.
Every once in a while, it (ACCA dream) felt like wanting to explode out of my
heart. But I have to contain it until a suitable time comes.
The feeling is like you have an
unfinished business waiting for you. Every day the feeling grows and you just
can’t hide it. Just can’t get rid of it. It is like ACCA keep on calling you. Do
you know before my time, ACCA was actually known as CACA. Many people made a
joke of it saying it stands for ‘Come Again, Come Again’. Perhaps, that is why
it was renamed ACCA later.
Anyway, looking back it was kind
of fated that I took a break from ACCA. Sometimes, we need to come out of the ‘problem’
in order to see things clearly. It was like suddenly the burden was lifted.
When you are far apart from what
you used to pursue, you see yourself clearer, you see what matters most to you,
only then, you know what you wanted most of all. When two lovers are far apart,
absence makes the heart grow fonder. Then only you know ACCA and you are made
for each other. ACCA completes you.
Tell this to your friends who
have just pass ACCA. They will tell you that all those sufferings, torture,
tears, frustrations are all worth it because they just can’t explain to you the
feeling that they are having now once they pass. It is like when something hurts
the deepest, that something also brings the greatest joy you have ever
experienced. I jumped up in the air when I receive my final results later. Well,
I will save that for my next story.
If you have pass ACCA, Well done,
my comrades!ACCA is an exclusive club that only admits members not by invitation but by really earning it. That is why employers respect us.
If you are still on your way, don’t give up. It shall be your turn soon. If you are tired, it is okay to take a break. I took mine and I still complete the race, in fact, my break reinforces my determination.
Totally agreed....!!!
ReplyDeleteKok Wan You got what it takes! Go for it!
ReplyDeletegreat article Sir!feel really motivated after reading it!.
ReplyDeleteit makes me feel proud for myself completing ACCA.
Lim Say Ji Welcome on board. Let destiny guide you from now on. Have a pleasant journey!
DeleteDear Sir,
ReplyDeleteI am Yuffie Lam, your previous F7 student in Kaplan.
I found out that you'll be teaching P2 at Crescendo next semester.
Would like to check with you will the course fall on weekends?
As after your class, we went to others lecturer class for P2 we couldn't understand well the lecturers' ways.
Would still prefer your teaching method.
Hope can take your course in next semester.
Hi Yuffie Lam. Sorry, I didn't managed to reply as I was more active in the Facebook than my blog. I shall co-lecture with Ms Natalie for P2 Corporate Reporting and I will be lecturing for 8 lessons (Consolidation topics) on two weekends @ Crescendo, JB. To compensate for the shorter lectures, I will be providing students with 2 DVDs for my complete P2 lectures on the other topics.
Delete